Our Thoughts

The end of a marriage or a long-term relationship is more than just the loss of having a partner, but it’s also the loss of a shared identity, a rhythm you’ve lived inside of for months, years, or even decades. When two lives become so intertwined, it can be natural to lose sight of who you truly are. So when the relationship ends, many people find themselves asking: Who am I now?

The end of a marriage or a long-term relationship is more than just the loss of having a partner, but it’s also the loss of a shared identity, a rhythm you’ve lived inside of for months, years, or even decades. When two lives become so intertwined, it can be natural to lose sight of who you truly are. So when the relationship ends, many people find themselves asking: Who am I now?

Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where you doubt your accomplishments and fear being “found out” as a fraud, even when there’s plenty of evidence that isn’t true and that you are capable and deserving.

There’s a certain rush that comes when you meet someone new. It’s the excitement, the butterflies, and the way your mind keeps circling back to them no matter what you’re doing. It can feel intoxicating, almost as if you’re tumbling headfirst into love after just a few months of knowing each other or even a handful of dates. But that feeling can also bring up questions, like “Am I really in love, or am I just caught up in the moment? How do I truly know the difference?”

Defensive reactions are a natural human response to feeling attacked, criticized, or misunderstood, even if those things are not the intention of the other person. But when they happen often, they tend to shut down more healthy communication and keep us from actually hearing and understanding each other.

There are ways, though, to stay connected, protect your emotional energy, and find a way to express yourself without shutting down. Let’s talk through some of those ways to better understand your partner’s feelings without losing yourself in the process.

For many, summer is typically seen as a season of joy, filled with sunny skies, long days, vacations, and sometimes what can seem like endless social plans. The world seems to almost expect you to be outside, smiling, and carefree. But for some, summer can feel heavy, isolating, or even painful.

Everyone has needs and wants, and most of the time, your specific needs and wants may differ from your partner’s, your friend’s, and lots of other peoples. That is okay. It is not a bad thing to express what you want, but sometimes it can feel bad to ask for certain things or say that you are not getting everything that you need.

We often think of attachment styles as something that only affects romantic relationships, but in reality, your attachment style influences how you relate to and interact with everyone: your partner, friends, family, coworkers, strangers, even yourself. It’s the emotional blueprint that shapes how you connect, seek closeness, handle, conflict, and navigate boundaries.

When we’ve been hurt, disappointed, or overwhelmed by relationships, it’s natural to want to protect ourselves. Although, sometimes when we try to stop ourselves from getting hurt or feeling pain, we end up keeping a lot of things out, if not everything, which can include the support, connection, and intimacy we long for.

Holding space and sitting with your emotions isn’t about fixing, avoiding, or judging them. It’s about making room for your internal experiences with honesty and care, and it’s the act of acknowledging your truth, even when it’s painful, uncertain, or messy.

People grieve differently, even when the loss is shared. Within families, this difference in how people process pain can sometimes create tension, misunderstandings, and emotional distance.

All relationships go through ups and downs, that much is pretty typical, but there is a clear difference between “normal” conflict and a relationship that consistently drains you, undermines your self-worth, and/or causes emotional, mental, or even physical harm.

When the person you love and possibly have built a life with tells you they want a divorce, it can feel like the floor has collapsed beneath you. It’s a moment that can be filled with shock, heartback, and confusion, especially if you still want to save the marriage. While it may seem like the end, there are steps that you can take to approach this painful moment with clarity, care, and hope, regardless of the outcome of the marriage.

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