5 Questions Kids Always Ask Me During Their Therapy Sessions

Ally Bremer
Aug 31
3 min read

I totally understand that starting something new, such as therapy, can be nerve-racking. It takes a lot of courage to try something new for most kids (and I was definitely one of those kids). So I try to be as welcoming as I can- this includes being open to all types of questions.

This blog will focus on the few of the main questions I often get from my clients. These questions may seem basic and simple, but answering them can help my clients feel more comfortable.

Are you going to tell my parents what we talk about?

This question right here, is a big one with my adolescent and teen clients. They may believe that being under eighteen years old, might just mean that everything is shared with their parents. But… the answer I give them is that it depends on what it’s about. I also normally ask for permission if it’s ok to share something specific with their parents.

This question typically leads me into what confidentiality means. I mention that with confidentiality, the only reason for me to break confidentiality would be if there are situations that involve suicidal or homicidal intent, suspected child or elder abuse, or for legal reasons such as subpoenas.

Being able to understand that this space is theirs to talk freely, helps my clients become more comfortable to share their thoughts and feelings.

What do you do for your job?

Great question I get often to be honest. Some also often assume that I’m a psychologist. So there I am, explaining it all….

In other words, I talk about what I do for my job. I talk about how I help others and what I add into sessions to make things more enjoyable. Yes, there are similarities to other jobs in the mental health field, but at least I can help them by trying to understand that not everyone has the same educational background in this field. We are all different, yet unique in our own ways- even without our educational background.

Why do I have to come here?

This question doesn’t pop up as often as the first two questions I mentioned, but it’s still an important question to note.

Clients need to understand that coming to therapy is not a punishment. Unfortunately, some may think that they don’t do well enough at home, so this may be a "consequence" in their eyes. I try to explain that everyone sometimes needs some extra help figuring out their feelings. I bring up that not even every adult has their feelings figured out too and that it’s really cool to have that help when they feel like they need it.

Can we play a game?

For this question I normally say “absolutely not”. Just kidding!

Games are so much fun and they make sessions a lot more comfortable! It doesn’t even need to be a game- it could also be a puzzle or just regular ol’ coloring.

I try to ask myself when learning. I want to make sure that they are able to listen as best as they can- so if fidgeting or coloring helps them with that, then so be it, it’s a done deal. I may or may not like to play games anyway….

But…. to be totally honest, sometimes I say no. It depends on timing, on how tired they may be, and how new that is to therapy, and how much work we were able to accomplish. If I promise my client a game but we run out of time, I let them know that we can play one next time- and I’m pretty good at keeping my word. Although the times that I don’t keep my word, it’s because I most likely forgot. I’m human too!! I try to make it their responsibility to remember and that’s a good goal for them too.

Who did you see other than me today?

You have no idea how many times I get asked this question or a question similar. Some of my clients might ask “who drew this?”, “who broke that toy”, and so on. For those two types of questions I may respond with “I don’t know” because truthfully yeah I might have forgotten. But even if I remembered, I would answer the same.

For the main question of “who did you see other than me today”- I bring up confidentiality again and that it doesn’t matter who I saw that wasn’t them.

The End

So, there you go. No matter how “little” these questions are, they are still important to the clients asking them. I respond to every question, no matter what it is, honestly. I bring in boundaries when needed, but most understand that I’m pretty open.