How Parents Can Support their Child in Sports

Sports can be a great place for youth to learn and build upon many different skills such as discipline, teamwork, resilience, and confidence. The experiences they have can shape not only how they perform on the field, but who they become off of it. At the same time, for every cheer and post game treat, there can also be pressure, anxiety, and burnout.

For young athletes, the world of sports can be as emotionally and mentally demanding as it is physically. While coaches lead on the court or field, parents can have a huge influence behind the scenes.

As a parent, you are your child’s biggest fan, occasional coach, and most important role model. The way you show up during their athletic journey can influence how they play as well as how they feel about themselves long term.

Here’s how you can support your child in sports as an athlete, but most importantly, as a human being.

Focus on Effort Over Outcome

The first questions you might find yourself asking your child after a game might be “did you win?” or “did you score?”. Although these might be fun questions for them to answer if they had a really good game or performance, they can also unintentionally teach children that their worth is based on results. This performance-focused language might seem harmless at first, but over time it can teach youth that the only thing that matters is winning or performing perfectly for a team. In reality, there are so many other important aspects of sports beyond the scoreboard.

Instead of focusing on the outcome of the game, meet, or performance, try asking these questions instead:

●       “Did you have fun?”

●       “Did you learn anything?”

●       “What was your favorite moment?”

These types of questions can show your child that you care more about their experience and growth rather than just their performance. It can be a powerful reminder that their worth is not tied to their stats.

Normalize Emotions and Mistakes

With sports come many highs and lows. From winning tournaments to missing game winning shots. From scoring goals to not making the team. Emotional moments will occur, and they are meant to. Teaching your child to sit with discomfort instead of suppressing it, is a valuable skill that will serve them in many aspects of life. Your job as a parent is not to prevent your child from feeling discomfort, but to help them learn how to navigate it.

When your child is feeling emotional after a tough practice or a mistake in a game, instead of trying to fix the problem or dismiss their feelings, try a phrase such as:

●       “It’s okay to feel upset, frustrated, or disappointed.”

●       “Mistakes are how we grow, what do you want to try next time?”

●       “My love for you does not depend on whether or not you make a mistake.”

These phrases let your child feel seen and heard. Offering your support without trying to rescue them from the experience is how confidence and resilience can be built.

Encourage Rest and Balance

It can be easy to believe that more is better: more training, more games, more pressure, more wins. In reality, encouraging a “more is better” mindset can lead to injury, burnout, and increased stress. Young athletes are still growing children who need rest, play, and variety. They are still exploring their interests and values and need the time, space, and energy to do so.

Signs of burnout to look out for in your child include:

●       A loss of joy or motivation for their sport or in other areas of life.

●       Increased anxiety and/or signs of depression.

●       Frequent physical complaints such as increased fatigue, illness, or pain.

You can support your child and decrease the likelihood of burnout occurring by encouraging and honoring mental health days, allowing them to explore other interests, and setting boundaries. Rest is not a weakness, it is an important part of performance and mental health.

Be Their Safe Space

As your child moves through the highs and lows of sports, it is important for them to have a space where they can feel safe expressing their various feelings. A space where they can be unfiltered, unjudged, and fully supported. You don’t need all the answers. You don’t need to be their coach. Sometimes the best support is reminding your child that they are loved for who they are, not what they do.

Some helpful phrases to remind them are:

●       “I’m proud of you for showing up.”

●       “You are more than the points you score.”

●       “I love watching you play.”

These reminders might seem small, but they can go a long way in building long-term confidence.

Being a parent of a young athlete is a journey in itself. You might have early mornings, long weekends, and significant financial expenses. The stress of managing the conflicting expectations of coaches, other parents, and yourself can be overwhelming. It is important to remember that your child’s well-being and happiness come before any results or stats. There will always be difficult days, but if your child is not enjoying their sport, or if they are showing signs of burnout, it might be time to evaluate why they are participating. Whether it is for fun, friendship, challenge, or personal growth, their well-being should always be most important. You are not only raising an athlete, but raising a person who will carry the lessons they learn and the skills they build through the rest of their life.

Cheer loud, hug often, and remember that your support means more than any trophy.

Written By,

Maria Raikova, LSW

www.cuttingedge-therapy.com