5 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self

Ally Bremer
May 13
4 min read

Growing up, I was a shy and quiet kid. I think I internalized a lot of my thoughts and feelings and was afraid of taking chances because of the “what ifs”. I occasionally think back on those times and wonder why. Why did I sometimes feel less than? Why did I feel like my feelings didn’t matter? Why did I feel like some of the things I wanted were stupid?

What I will be talking about in this blog are the thoughts I wish I had when I was younger, and even the thoughts that I still need to think of now. The thoughts that would have helped me (if I actually listened to them). I guess this blog can be what you may call a “big sister” with “big sisterly advice”.

Number One: You’re thinking too much

I cannot even tally the amount of times I overthink. I did it a lot when I was younger, and I still do it a lot. I would call it a superpower but I think that’s putting a positive light on something negative- which can be a good thing buttttt probably not with this example.

The things many people overthink are not even always something that means a lot. Trust me, I don’t know why I put myself through these “stuck” feelings and I’m sure you might feel the same way.

So yes, I wish I had someone that would pinch me out of my overthinking facade and just tell me that my "dilemma" won’t even be a problem in 5 years. If it won’t matter in 5 years, it’s (most likely) not a big deal. So hopefully, saying this helps you in your future.

Number Two: Find people around you that care about your feelings

Some of us only had or have a couple of outside school friends in high school. I’m not saying that’s a problem, I’m also not saying it’s a huge benefit in any way, but it tells you how important it is to surround yourself with good people, but to also spread your wings a little bit. (I know that was a really long sentence, but I think it’s still an important one.)

Sometimes wouldn’t it be nice if someone, other than a parent tried to push you to try and make a bigger circle for yourself? Like of course I didn’t want to listen to my mom back then. Sometimes when you’re comfortable, that’s a sign that you need to do something that’s out of that box of yours. It’s hard to live a life when you may be too afraid to push yourself, but pushing yourself can make things interesting. There are people that will judge you for no reason, so find the ones that accept you just the way you are. Don’t be afraid of getting “looked at”, because you can’t make everyone happy in this world of ours.

Number Three: Don’t be afraid to be yourself

Being yourself can be so hard, especially when growing up in a tough environment. One of the things about this one though, is that it’s super helpful to have the number two thought in your head of, finding people around you that are there for you and care about your feelings.

You shouldn’t feel worried about what others think of you. It’s a natural thought, but it’s also a silly one. In reality, who cares? You’re living your life for yourself, not someone else.

Number Four: Make sure you won’t regret anything when you look back on it

You know what, I’m gonna come clean on something. I regret not going on a certain trip when I was younger. There, I said it. And this right here is a perfect example of being worried or afraid for some strange reason- Sometimes all you need to do is to push yourself and take the opportunities that don’t often present themselves.

Another personal experience of mine was when I was a sophomore in college, I was planning on going on a trip called Birthright to Israel, with a friend of mine. Months into talking about this together, she told me that she was going to go another time than the time that we were planning. I already signed up for this trip for a certain time. Of course I overthought and didn’t know if I should cancel my trip or just go. I would know no one on this trip, but I still knew that it would be an experience. So guess what. I still went and to do this day I am proud of myself for going. I loved it and am still friends with a few people from the trip. Honestly, I'm a little glad I didn’t go with that friend. I feel like I would have been stuck to her because of my shyness.

Number Five: You are living your life for yourself and for no one else

I already gave you a hint of this one in number three :). But in all seriousness, I wish someone would just remind me of this every now and then when I was growing up. In certain moments, it’s not a thought that often comes up.

Make yourself happy. Make sure your boundaries are known. Make sure you have a few things you do for yourself that truly makes you happy, comfortable, and relaxed. Self-care can definitely help with this too. But it’s not just self-care things I’m talking about. It’s also about the people, the work you do, and how you make yourself feel. And your mindset!!

Number Six: Why not?

Ha! I snuck in a sixth one!

With this life of yours, it’s important to make sure you have fun. Again, this is your life and in five years, no one remembers “the bad moments” besides you anyway. All in all, it takes time to learn how important self-respect and self-worth helps you learn about your personal identity. Just be you! No pressure though, I’m still working on it myself. :)