Book Review: Thriving with Adult ADHD Part 3

Ally Bremer
May 2
4 min read

The final part! I promise that this is the last post in which I will be reviewing this book! In this blog post, I will be going over final thoughts that I had about the book Thriving with Adult ADHD: Skills to Strengthen Executive Functioning- Get Focused and Achieve Your Goals written by Phil Boissiere, MFT (2018). As usual, I will be giving you a summary of items that I thought were interesting in the book and highlighted. I will also give a brief explanation of skills that may be helpful or why I thought that it was interesting.

Things that I highlighted and why:

Highlight #1: Must, Should, and Would (pg 54)

“Must, should, and would” is a skill that is meant to help with organization. Typically, individuals with ADHD often struggle to prioritize tasks. They may have difficulty focusing their attention on things that need to get done, often leading to difficulties with procrastination and task initiation. As we know, the more that you procrastinate… the more that things start to pile up! When things begin to feel unmanageable, it can be helpful to learn how to prioritize. The skill that this book provides gives a guideline for how to prioritize tasks. Below is a brief description of each category with examples.

- “I must do this today”: This category is for tasks that are time sensitive or important to others that you do. For example: doing a project at work, making dinner for your kids, or turning in an assignment at school

- “I should do this”: This category is for tasks that do not need your immediate attention, but are still important to you. They may be time sensitive, but the deadline is in the future. Examples include: gathering tax forms in preparation for your tax appointment, making a vet appointment for your dog, or getting new glasses

- “It would be nice if I did this”: This category is for things that are not immediately important. Examples include: organizing the pantry, setting up a friend hangout, painting or doing art

Highlight #6: Talking to others about your ADHD (pg 63, 107, 108)

Talking to other people about your ADHD has many potential benefits and drawbacks. This book does an excellent job at discussing potential drawbacks of discussing ADHD symptoms with friends and coworkers. It discusses how once people know that you have ADHD, they may be quick to assume that your ADHD is to blame for any potential mishaps instead of what may have been the actual cause for disruption. For example, your boss may assume that you were late to work because of your ADHD, when in reality you got a flat tire. Many people do not have a basic understanding of ADHD and how it impacts those with it. This book gives guidelines for how to have professional and casual conversations about your ADHD. Below are some points that I enjoyed.

- When talking about your ADHD at work, stick to the facts. It may be helpful to state what are some typical struggles of ADHD while also giving real life examples of techniques that work for you in overcoming those struggles.

- When talking to friends and family about ADHD symptoms, the book advises to be clear with your experience of ADHD. However, it also emphasises that you should be empathetic about how the other person experiences you and to not blame everything on your ADHD. This book does an excellent job of reminding the reader that there are clear and proven ways that you can work towards challenging your ADHD. IT reminds the reader that they are not alone and that they are not helpless. For example, if your roommate is upset at you because you always leave the milk out… Instead of blaming your ADHD, it may be helpful to empathize with them and explain how you are working to strengthen your attention skills.

Highlight #7: Being Mindful pg 84, 85, 86, 105

As usual, mindfulness is a huge way to promote change. The author of this book consistently stresses the importance of being aware of how your thoughts and emotions impact your behaviors. This is easier said than done! It takes practice to learn to identify your thoughts and emotions. Especially when we are feeling overwhelmed, it can be incredibly difficult to slow down and pay attention to our body. The author gives a great coping skill to use to help you ground yourself and engage in mindfulness. Here is how to use the 3x3 Method skill.

- Pick three things in your immediate environment. This could be anything! For this example, let’s use an apple, shoe, and clock.

- Name each object and take a breath in between. For example, you would say or think “That is an apple (deep breath). That is a shoe (deep breath). That is a clock (deep breath).

Final conclusion

I loved this book! As I stated in previous blog posts, I think that this book does a great job in using language that is easy to read and understand. I feel like this book gives a great description of ADHD and works to make the reader feel seen and hopeful. There are many great tips in this book that was not able to discuss in these posts. I would recommend this book to read!