Book Review: Thriving with Adult ADHD Part 2

Ally Bremer
Apr 22
4 min read

Ready for part two? In this blog post, I will be going over additional thoughts that I had about the book Thriving with Adult ADHD: Skills to Strengthen Executive Functioning- Get Focused and Achieve Your Goals written by Phil Boissiere, MFT (2018). This blog post will not include a summary of the entire book, and will instead focus more on the content that I personally thought was interesting. Each section will be labeled with content that I highlighted and an explanation for why I thought that it was important. Just like last time, there was just too much good stuff! Expect a final review of the book in part 3!

Things that I highlighted and why:

Highlight #1: Everyone needs to stay organized (pg 46, 49)

Explanation:

I personally am in a constant struggle with the clutter around me! I often tell myself things like, “It’s fine because it’s organized chaos… I know where everything is!” While that may be true, maintaining a clean and organized environment can actually reduce anxiety and boost productivity. This book does a great job at explaining how a tidy space minimizes distractions and helps the brain stay focused on the intended task. One skill that I liked from the book is called “weeding”. This involves throwing away any notes, reminders, or materials used for completing a project. This ensures that you have a clutter free space! It can also serve as a reward for finishing your tasks! Think of it like this: You are starting a baking project… making cookies! To start, you want to make sure that the counters are clean so that you have enough room for cookie sheets and ingredients. After baking, it’s best to clean up after yourself! That way, when you start your next baking adventure, you are all set and ready to go. Your mixer, utensils, and ingredients are all clean and organized… making your job a bit easier.

Highlight #2: Most people with ADHD feel intense shame (pg 45, 94, 98)

Explanation:

This book emphasizes that shame is a common negative emotion that is experienced by people with ADHD. As a therapist who works consistently with children and adults with ADHD, I think that this holds true! I really enjoy how this book explains the cycle of how shame and anxiety can lead to behaviors like procrastination. Executive functioning deficits in organization, task initiation, and even emotion regulation can lead to feelings of shame which then reinforce behaviors like procrastination.

Here is an example of how this may manifest:

“You need to write a report for work and people continue to reach out and ask for a status update. This can lead to an increase in anxiety and shame. You may feel anxious from the pressure of a deadline or shameful because you don’t have anything to report. To ease your feelings, you decide to procrastinate. Though this may make you feel better in the short term… it actually increases the anxiety that you may feel! You will now have a harder time starting the task that needs to get done and may feel overwhelmed with negative emotions.“

This book gives great exercises for helping to both identify emotions and to begin to build organization/task initiation skills. Some helpful examples of exercises that are cited in the book include practicing identifying emotions, practicing prioritizing tasks, and experimenting with organization. I LOVE how this book explains that emotions are temporary and will not last forever! By using skills and practicing self-kindness, every individual can work past difficult emotions!

Highlight #3: Emotions and task initiation (pg 50)

Explanation:

Task initiation has to do with the cognitive process relating to starting things. Having trouble starting your paper? Having trouble starting to clean your room? Having difficulty putting on your shoes to go shopping? You could be the most prepared person in the work with the most organized house and the most organized to-do list… you still need to act on it! This book explains how understanding your thoughts and emotions that relate to the task at hand can help you to make positive change. For example, the book explains that understanding WHY you procrastinate can be helpful in building awareness of potential triggers and being prepared to make a change. Some common thoughts or feelings that are linked to procrastination are often boredom, anxiety, or even not thinking that you have enough time. If you identify that you are putting off tasks due to anxiety, you are then able to utilize coping skills to help manage the anxiety and make a plan to challenge your procrastination habits.

Conclusion:

This blog post seems to be heavy on the link between emotions and actions! Here is a super quick summary!

- Shame often leads to procrastination

- Procrastination is linked to different emotions like shame, anxiety, and boredom

- By staying organized… you lessen anxiety.

Look for more great tips in part 3!