Children of all ages experience big emotions. Understanding and expressing these feelings can be challenging for younger kids. Imagine your child crying and yelling over a lost toy… it may seem overwhelming, but in that moment, they’re experiencing grief. They just don’t have the words to explain that that is what they are feeling. Talking about emotions to children requires age appropriate language and examples that they can relate to. Luckily, many children’s movies showcase characters who experience emotions such as anxiety, grief, sadness, jealousy, and many more. Movies can be a great way to help your child learn about their feelings and have examples to reference in different situations. In this post, I’ll discuss common experiences relating to specific emotions, share tips for talking about feelings with your child, and highlight some of my favorite movies that capture these emotions.
How to talk to your child about emotions:
When talking to your child about emotions, it is important to consider timing. If your child is in the middle of an angry meltdown, it may not be the best time to explain emotions and coping skills. If your child is feeling overwhelmed, focus on helping them regulate first. Doing things like deep breathing, getting a hug, or punching a pillow are great ways to help your child to feel more calm and ready to talk about feelings.
When the time is right, and your child is feeling calm, it may be an appropriate time to introduce emotion words. Talk about what different emotions look and feel like. Use real life examples or movies to help your child make connections. Over time, you will be able to encourage them to identify emotions in the moment. Doing this allows you and your child to select a coping skill that will best help to regulate. Below is an example of a situation in which a parent talked to their child about emotions and helped them through big emotions.
Example Scenario:
Sarah is a 5 year old girl who often has difficulty going to day-care in the summers. When Sarah has to go to daycare, she will often cry and try to hide from Mom. When Mom finally gets her to day-care, Sarah will cling to Mom’s leg and try to hide from the other kids at day-care.
Luckily, Sarah’s mom recently read Jordan’s blog post and knew how to handle the situation! The night before day-care, Mom talks to Sarah and acknowledges that it can be scary to do hard things. Mom explained a time when she didn’t want to do something because she felt nervous. She even explained how she felt when she was nervous. Mom asks Sarah if this is what she feels when it’s time to go to day-care. Then, they practice deep breathing and plan to practice deep breathing together the next time they have to go to day-care. Mom reminds Sarah that she is strong and brave! Over time, Sarah will learn to use these skill son her own and begin to feel more confident!
Common Emotions and Movies that Showcase Them
Below, you’ll find a few common emotions that children may experience, how they might express them, and some movies that can help spark conversation around emotions.
Anxiety:
Anxiety is a common emotion that children struggle with identifying. A few typical symptoms that people experience with anxiety include: sweating, shaking hands, tightness in the chest, difficulty breathing, nausea or upset stomach, tense shoulders. Children who are anxious may try to hide, not want to leave the house, have difficulty making new friends, or say that they have an upset tummy. One GREAT movie that explains what anxiety feels like is Inside Out 2 (Pixar, 2024). This movie introduces anxiety as a character, gives examples for how anxiety can impact your behaviors, and gives tips for dealing with anxiety.
Grief and Loss:
Grief is a complex emotion that children may face when they lose something that they cherished. They may experience grief after losing a toy, changing friend groups, or losing a loved one. Common symptoms of grief include crying, experience of hollowness in the chest, and difficulty engaging in activities. For children, they may talk about the loss, cry when they are reminded of the loss, or struggle to understand why they can’t interact with someone or something in the same way that they used to. One movie that I Like to use to demonstrate grief is the movie UP (Pixar, 2009). This movie shows how two people can have a deep connection, how grief can impact your life, and how to learn to live with grief. This movie demonstrates this in a way that children can understand without being too explicit about the loss.
Frustration:
Anger and frustration are very common in young children. Frustration can often be experienced as getting hot, having tense muscles, feeling an increase in energy, and having difficulty thinking. Many kids will often throw things, hit others, scream, cry, or try to run away when they feel frustrated. One movie that I always enjoyed was the Incredibles (Pixar, 2004). I enjoy this movie because it shows how siblings can become frustrated at one another and how they can come together in the end. Inside out 1 and 2 (Pixar) is also another great movie to talk about anger, how it looks, and how it can impact behaviors.
Conclusion
Talking about emotions can seem like a daunting task. By using movies and real life examples, you can help your child to recognize feelings, learn to talk about them, and learn coping skills to use every day. With a bit of support from parents, children will eventually be able to gain confidence in their abilities and use their skills at day-care, school, or even with friends.
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Written By,
Jordan Adamson, LPC
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