Labels are what we use to categorize information and make sense of the world around us. When it comes to labeling people, the labels that are given can be based on a lot of various factors like biological features or behaviors such as age or occupation. Some labels can be helpful, for example, using labels such as friend or foe is one way we can keep ourselves safe. However, labels can also have an extremely negative effect. When labeling children, adults are often making comments about their character like “she is emotional” or “he is lazy.” Unfortunately, adults can forget the weight of their words and the impact that they leave behind. Labels can change the way that children view themselves. Oftentimes, children end up adhering to the behaviors assigned by their labels simply because they were given a label. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy where children grow into the labels they were given when they were younger. There are three different types of labels that can be used when labeling people.
Negative labels: Negative labels comment on a behavior that is being disapproved of. Common negative labels include calling someone “lazy” or “mean.”
Positive Labels: Positive labels are used when the labeler approves of the skills or behavior. Examples include “you are a great student” or “you are a born leader.”
Labels with a double meaning: These labels may have a negative connotation but are said as complements. Examples include: “wild child” or “rebel.”
Not all labels are all bad all of the time. When you mention that “he is a nice kid,” the positive characteristics can be strengthened. The issue is when labels are said mindlessly and on a regular basis. Children tend to form their identity based on what their environment and the people they surround themselves with say about them. When they are given a label, regardless of whether it applies to them or not, the child is likely to start behaving in that way. When a child is given a label, the people around them can also start changing their behaviors around the child. For example, a child who is considered an athlete may receive more time to practice, better equipment, etc., which could also increase his chances of becoming a better athlete. When this happens, the child ends up confirming the expectations placed on them. The same thing can happen with negative labels too. If a child is told that they are not good at something, like sports, it can discourage them from practicing which can hinder their performance and confirm the negative label. Another negative impact of labels is that it can make it difficult to remember what is considered normal behaviors for a child. For example, a child who takes care of their other siblings and worries about money may be given the label of “responsible,” despite the fact that it is not considered a typical behavior of the child. We may also label a behavior differently based on the person who is displaying it. For example, an adult may be called assertive while a child is called defiant. Labels also imply generalizations. No one behaves the same way all of the time. However, when we give children labels like “troublemaker” it can be easy to start assuming they will behave that way all the time. This can instill in children that their personality should be rigid which can make change difficult. There is also a confirmation bias that can occur when labels are being used. When we label someone, it can be easy to start focusing on the behaviors that confirm the label we have given instead of focusing on behaviors that contradict the label. Even labels that are considered positive can still have a negative impact. Positive labels can be very limiting. Even if said with good intentions, positive labels can put a lot of pressure on the child to meet the expectations placed on them by the label which can create feelings of frustration, anxiety, and negatively impact self-esteem.
Although labeling is a common thing for most of us to do, it is important that we are careful about labeling children. The labels we place on others hold a lot of weight, so it is important to not base labels off of a single trait or action. In addition, it is important to avoid comparisons with peers as each child is unique and has their own individual ways of behaving. When labels feel necessary, try to comment on the behavior, not the person. For example, you may say “you haven't done your work today” as opposed to saying, “you're lazy.” When commenting on children's behavior, try to avoid words like “always” or “never” as it discredits any time that they may have acted differently. To avoid labeling children, try to think before you speak and choose your words carefully. Children are growing and changing every day, it's important that we don't limit their growth by placing labels on them.
Written By,
Tierney Puig, LPC
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