Behavioral Challenges in Adolescents: What’s Typical, What’s Not, and Ways to Show Support

The adolescent years can be defined by intense physical, emotional, social, and mental changes. Adolescents desire to be more independent individuals. They are figuring out who they are and who they want to be. They might begin to argue more than usual or break the rules at school or home. Many times, changes in an adolescent’s behavior are a typical part of growing up. Sometimes, however, more extreme behavioral challenges might arise that can become a problem if they are causing harm or severe consequences.

In this blog, I will be discussing the differences in typical adolescent behavior and what might be a larger issue. I will also be providing tips for supporting adolescents during those challenging years.

Identity

Adolescents are quickly figuring out who they are and what they believe. They begin to desire increased independence and form identities independent of their family. It is typical for adolescents to spend more time with friends, as well as more time alone in their room. Adolescents commonly try out different physical appearances and styles. They might change their hair, makeup, or clothes. It is also common for adolescents to have changing hobbies and interests and the desire to experiment with drugs or alcohol.

Although it is typical for adolescents to spend more time away from family, if they are completely withdrawing, it might be a signal that something larger is going on. It is common for adolescents to experiment with drugs and alcohol, but remember that it is still illegal and can cause physical harm. If they develop a habit of using drugs and develop signs of a substance use disorder, it would be important to help them find professional help. There are large consequences involved in risky behaviors, so it is important to clearly communicate with your adolescent about the risks.

Relationships

Part of being human is being intimate. This can include emotional intimacy in close friendships or sexual intimacy in romantic relationships. Typical adolescent behavior related to relationships includes having various intensities of friendships, being easily influenced by peers, focusing on love interests, and exploring and being curious about sex and intimacy.

If an adolescent is involved in a peer group that seems to be a negative influence, or they experience a sudden change in a peer group, this might signal some difficulty navigating peer relationships. Exploring intimacy is a normal part of adolescence. However, if an adolescent engages in risky sexual behavior such as unprotected sex, or many sexual partners at one time, this might be reason to further communicate risks and consequences.

Physical Changes

The adolescent years are a time involving a lot of physical changes. With puberty and bodies beginning to mature, it is a lot for an adolescent to experience and get used to. It is common for adolescents to be increasingly focused on how they look or on how others look. They might take longer to get ready before leaving the house, or they might be shy or self-conscious of their appearance. Although difficult feelings, these are all common for adolescents to experience. Signs that professional help might be beneficial include overeating or restricting food intake regularly, or over exercising or purging to control weight.

Stress

It is typical for adolescents to experience stress. They are facing social pressure, school pressure, and sometimes major life events such as illness, parents’ separation, or moving. All of these stressful changes can lead to changes in behavior such as increased emotional outbursts, crying, drug/alcohol use, physical aggression, missing school, or stopping activities they used to enjoy. Some stress is normal for adolescents, but if it is causing these behavioral changes and difficulty with functioning overall, it might be a sign to seek further help.

Tips for Parents:

One of the first and most important things you can do to support your adolescent is to build a positive relationship with them. Be there for them by listening and letting them speak without interrupting. Show interest in their life and be curious about their feelings and perspectives. Also, spend time with them both one-on-one, and with other family members if possible. Quality time is very valuable for building a supportive relationship.

Sometimes adolescents might be ready and open to talking about their feelings when you are not expecting it. For example, in the car or right before going to bed. As long as you are present and available, they will continue to approach you to talk. You can also let them know that you are there to listen. If you notice your adolescent seems stressed, anxious, or irritable, you can ask them about it. They might not be ready to talk about it right away, but knowing you are there and available to listen can open the door for them.

As you are there for your adolescent, try to remain calm and avoid reacting out of anger or frustration. You can set boundaries and enforce consequences when rules are broken, but avoid yelling, nagging, or embarrassing your child. It is important to make it clear what behaviors are acceptable and what are not, and what the consequences are for unacceptable behavior. It can sometimes be easy to only pay attention to the negative behaviors, but make sure you are praising positive behaviors too. Compliment your child when they do something you like! That way it is more likely for them to continue that positive behavior in the future.

Healthy Tips to Remind Your Adolescent

It is normal for adolescents to feel more moody and irritable than they did when they were 10 or 11 years old. These are some reminders that can be given to adolescents to help improve their overall mood.

●        Exercise Regularly

○        Regular physical activity is beneficial for both your body and your mind. It can improve your mood by releasing happy hormones to help you feel calm.

●        Get Enough Sleep

○        Getting enough sleep can help you feel more energized and optimistic throughout the day. It can also help you to make better decisions because your mind will have had the rest it needs. The recommended amount of sleep for adolescents is between 8-10 hours per night.

●        Avoid Caffeine

○        Coffee and energy drinks might sound good, but caffeine can impact your mood and sometimes cause anxiety, irritability, and nervousness. It can also impact your sleep and make it more difficult to either fall asleep or stay asleep at night.

●        Avoid Alcohol and Drugs

○        Drugs and alcohol hurt your ability to make good decisions. You are more likely to choose risky behaviors that could hurt yourself or others while under the influence. Drugs and alcohol can also impact your long-term health and cause larger problems in the future.

●        Talk to Someone

○        If you feel like you are having a difficult time controlling your emotions or behavior, you can always talk to a parent, teacher, social worker, or counselor. They are there to help you!

The adolescent years are hard, but there are many ways to support your adolescent as they navigate challenges throughout the years.

Written By,

Maria Mattox, LPC

www.cuttingedge-therapy.com