How to Support your College-Bound Teen

Introduction

It’s that time of year again! College applications are underway, and highschoolers everywhere are preparing essays, asking for recommendations, and figuring out their next steps. For parents, this can be challenging. You want to encourage your teen to do their best, but you also don’t want to overwhelm them. Often, the pressure that parents put on their teens is well-intentioned. However, sometimes extra pressure can be confusing, overwhelming, and create tension between a parent and teen. This blog post explores how you can support your teen as they begin this exciting transition period.

Understanding their Goals and Aspirations

Many highschoolers begin to feel pressure early in their education. Some begin planning their college paths as early as freshman year. They can prepare by taking advanced classes, building resumes, and even start touring schools as early as sophomore year! As a parent, this can be a lot to navigate. You may have your own expectations for your child’s future, and that is okay!

One of the most supportive steps that you can take is to start with an open and honest conversation. Sit with your teen and discuss what they want to do, what is meaningful to them, and how they imagine their future. Discuss different pathways to reach their goals. This sets the stage for collaboration rather than conflict. Holding these conversations can help your teen to feel seen and understood.

Advice vs Active Listening

There is a big difference between giving advice and active listening. During the college application process, your teen may need to vent to you or they may need genuine advice! However, it can be difficult to determine which one your teen needs at the moment. If you give advice when they aren’t ready for it, it may seem like you are nagging them or they may feel overwhelmed. Your teen is likely juggling many stressors all at once including school, extracurriculars, friendships, work, and many other things. My advice is to ask your teen if they are looking to vent or if they are looking for advice. If they need to vent, give them space to tell you how they are feeling. Validate them and let them know that it is okay to feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or stressed. Having these conversations can build connections and help your teen to make clear minded decisions moving forward.

Tell your story

When your teen does want advice, there are many avenues that you can take. You can sit with them and help them find the answers online, you can contact a college professional, or you can even share your own story. Sometimes, the decision making process can be exhausting. Hearing your story on how you navigated difficult decision making moments can help to normalize their anxiety and give them some perspective.

As a parent, you can also help your child to connect with others that you may know. If you know someone who is working in a field that your teen is considering… whether it be a coworker, friend, or relative… consider setting up a meeting. Real life conversations can help your child to clarify their goals.

How a Professional Therapist Can Help You and Your Teen

Introducing Coping Skills to Manage Stress

Working with a therapist can help to support your teen even further. Applying to college is stressful, especially if they have other responsibilities like sports, musicals, work, or other extracurriculars. Your therapist can help your teen to build a toolbox of skills to help them to manage stress. This can be a variety of coping skills including deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and mindfulness techniques. Your therapist and teen can discuss effective and quick ways to fit these skills into their day to day life.

Help With Time Management

A therapist can also help your teen to develop time management skills. Maybe they need support with a study schedule? Maybe they need help with how to time out their college essays? Maybe they need help building a better sleep schedule? Working with a therapist can offer additional support and accountability.

Allow for Intentional Time to Process Emotions Relating to Life

Many times, high schoolers who are applying to college have little free time. This means that many of the things that are happening day to day get pushed to the side. Maybe something is happening with friends, partners, or even at home that they have not yet had time to process. Working with a therapist can allow for at least an hour a week where your teen can forget about their other responsibilities and talk about things that are impacting them emotionally.

Help Them to Understand Communication Techniques

Going into college visits or even interviews can be difficult! Learning communication techniques and practicing them in a safe space can be beneficial for your teen. This can even help them to advocate for themselves and build skills for the “real world”.

Help Your Teen to Understand What They Want Out of Their Future

Finally, therapy can help your teen develop a clear understanding of what they want out of their future. A therapist can help them to explore their values, interests, and strengths in a safe environment

Written By,

Jordan Adamson, LPC

www.cuttingedge-therapy.com