A therapist and client relationship can be broad, but also straightforward. We are here for you and want to help guide you in this world of ours. Buttttt, there are certain expectations that need to be in place to be able to do that.
Number One: Expect it
The first thing to expect is to expect it. By meaning, in the nicest way possible, your therapist is also a person who has their own thoughts and feelings. We’re not only someone you can vent to, but also someone who should be able to trust and work with you. That’s why you should definitely expect a professional relationship with your therapist. Some therapists might include more of their own personality into sessions as well. For me, I personally like to bring a silly personality, yet still professional manner, with my clients.
Number Two: Boundaries
The second thing to expect out of a client and therapist relationship is boundaries.
There will always be boundaries put in place from your therapist. You may not know it, you may not even talk about it, but it's standard. If we don’t set our own boundaries within our work, it may lead us to burning out. We can’t help you if we can’t help ourselves. Personally, if I don’t have my own time to not do any type of work, I will not be my best self.
Some boundaries might be so miniscule, you don’t even think about it. Such as, talking about personal information. Us therapists might creep in some personal information about ourselves, but I wouldn’t call it a common practice to do that. I don’t mind sharing personal stories about myself, especially if it can help a client within their own journey. I believe it’s good for my clients to see that the person who is guiding them with their situations have been through similar experiences. Just because someone is a therapist doesn’t mean they always do the right thing too. We’re human! Mistakes happen!
Some other boundaries that may not be mentioned is when a message will be responded to. That being said, if it’s 9pm in an evening don’t be surprised if we don’t respond to a message. Or if it’s a weekend- each and every therapist has their own boundaries. Social media is a big one too. Please make it easier for us and not friend request me on any social media platforms. Please.
Similar to what was mentioned above, if a therapist doesn’t have any boundaries, we’re not going to be a good therapist for clients. By meaning, if we end up not having our own space and time, we can’t provide the best therapeutic experience for our clients.
Number Three: Challenges
Expect that your therapist will try to challenge you. I mean, how can we help you if we don’t? Why go to therapy if you’re not willing to work on goals?
There are various ways a therapist might challenge a client. Some include:
Making plans to be able to reach a goal
A client and therapist can certainly talk about goals to work on, but talking about them doesn’t mean it’s going to be worked on outside of sessions. Therefore, expect that your therapist will work collaboratively with you to set goals.
This might look like writing a weekly or daily goal plan, or creating some type of “homework” assignment that needs to be completed before the next session.
Asking deeper questions
Easy questions are… well easy to answer. We’re not here for easy peasy lemon squeezy, we’re here for a challenge.
Talking sternly
A good therapist isn’t afraid to change their tone of voice. For me, I make sure I have a good client-therapist relationship first. But after I know there’s a comfortable environment in place, I’m not afraid to show a more stern personality. Sometimes that’s what someone needs to change their mindset and perspective.
Even when we make sure to challenge you, we will always celebrate your wins and help advocate for you to get there.
Number Four: A Non-judgement zone
An important thing to know coming out of your therapist and client relationship, is that us therapists will not judge you. Seriously. This is your space and your space only.
You might think that something you’ve been holding in is embarrassing- but really, it’s just us. Rip the bandaid off and just share whatever you want to share.
Number Five: Flexibility, but to a certain point
There are a few parts of therapy that can be flexible. Our schedules and the way we have sessions can be flexible… at times.
We can most often be flexible with our schedules. But that doesn’t mean we can always reschedule. It’s also an expectation of our clients to know their schedule beforehand. The later we’re informed about a schedule change, the harder things can become for us.
A fun thing that can be flexible in session, is where to sit, but also how to talk about something. For example, flexible seating can be really great for kids. I’m all good with shoes on my couch or even sitting on the floor. I can’t count how many times I’ve done either of those with my clients. And what I meant about how to talk about something- I mean why not play a game while talking about something challenging? It’s fun for me, fun for my client, we still talk about what needs to be talked about- it’s a win, win situation.
Lastly, Number Six: A healthy therapeutic relationship
In conclusion, this therapeutic space is for you and that’s why we’re here. Therefore, expect there to be trust, respect, confidentiality, and collaboration in your therapeutic journey. Always feel free to ask the question you want, and share the stories you’ve been holding in. We are here for you!!

Written By,
Eliana Cohn, LSW
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