Coping with Summer Breakups: Mental Health Tips for Teens and Young Adults

Ally Bremer
Aug 1
5 min read

During the summer months there is usually an influx of teens and young adults trying to manage the heartache that often accompanies a break up. Did you know that statistically, breakups tend to occur more frequently during the summer months? So if you are currently in the thick of heartbreak, you are definitely not alone.

So you may ask…what is it about summer that leads people to part ways? Here are a few reasons—both psychological and social—that help explain this seasonal trend.

1) Summer often brings a shift in routine. School is out, vacations are happening, and people spend more time with friends. Warm weather often means more parties, festivals, trips and opportunities to meet new people. This sense of freedom and change can make individuals reevaluate their relationships, especially if the partnership feels limiting or out of sync with their current priorities.

2) There tends to be a cultural mindset that summer is a time for independence, fun and new experiences. Social media can exacerbate temptations and pressures to be single and amplify FOMO (fear of missing out).

3) Just as winter can bring seasonal depression, summer can elevate energy and restlessness, especially for individuals who feel "stuck" in a relationship. This may lead people to seek change.

Breakups are more than just the end of a relationship—they are often a profound emotional loss. Whether you're a teen navigating your first heartbreak or an adult experiencing the end of a long-term partnership, the emotional pain is real. With the right tools and support, you can heal and grow through the experience. First, however, I think it is important to understand the mental health impact a breakup can have.

The emotional responses you are experiencing can mirror those grieving a death of a loved one: shock, denial, anger, sadness, bargaining, and, eventually, acceptance. It’s not unusual to feel a loss of identity, lowered self-esteem, anxiety about the future, and even symptoms of depression. Why? Because a relationship often becomes intertwined with our sense of self, security, and routine.

Romantic rejection activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. So when someone says they’re “hurting,” they really are. Emotional flooding is a term used to describe how the nervous system becomes overwhelmed by intense emotional input leading to a struggle to think clearly and feel consumed by negative emotions. It can show up as tearfulness, numbness, restlessness, withdrawal or even rage. Our prefrontal cortex that is responsible for rational thinking and impulse control gets temporarily impaired. This could lead to making decisions you would not normally make, having constant ruminating thoughts about the person you lost or feeling like you will never feel better. Love triggers dopamine (reward chemical) in our brains. Breakups trigger dopamine withdrawal which can lead to obsessions, cravings for that person back, low mood. It can be similar to withdrawal from an addictive substance. This is simple biology. You are not weak or abnormal if this sounds like your experience. You lost a version of your life that you imagined with them. That is real and it is okay to be heartbroken in this moment. Your brain’s system is just on overdrive. The good news…this intensity and impact will not remain. With time and the right tools, you will feel better. You will be able to start envisioning your future without this person who once played such a big role in your life. You can do some things to help yourself be able to regulate, heal and move forward.

Healthy Ways to Cope

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve. Give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, or confusion. Maybe set aside a little time each day designated to just sit in whatever emotions are coming up for you. Just don’t allow that all day every day.

2. Stay Connected. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Isolation tends to magnify emotional distress.You may feel like pulling those covers up over your head and withdrawing, but that won’t make you feel any better. You deserve emotional reprieve through physical and social outlets to get your mind in a better place, to keep living life, to feel a sense of joy despite the sadness.

3. Create Structure. Establishing a daily routine—getting up at the same time, eating well, exercising—can help restore a sense of control and normalcy. When you physically take care of yourself better it leads to better emotional health as well. Showering, sunlight, clean eating, walking are all proven to improve mental health.

4. Avoid Numbing the Pain. Be mindful of coping mechanisms like substance use, excessive screen time, or jumping quickly into a new relationship. They often delay healing rather than promote it.

5. Practice Self-Compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a friend in pain. You are not broken; you are healing. Be a friend to yourself just as you have shown up and been supportive to others. You need you right now.

6. Seek Meaning. With time, many people are able to reflect on the relationship with greater clarity, identifying what they’ve learned about themselves and what they want in the future. You are able to learn about your boundaries, likes, dislikes, communication styles and needs through this self-reflection that will help you understand yourself more fully and find your right match in the future. Write your thoughts and revelations down in a journal. See how your thoughts, feelings and revelations change over time.

For Parents: How to Help Your Child Navigate Loss

1) Validate their experience. Avoid minimizing with statements like, You’re young- you’ll get over it. There are plenty of fish in the sea.” Instead, try, “I can see how much you are hurting. I am here if you want to talk.”

2) Don’t overly involve yourself. It is natural to want to fix it, villainize who hurt them or take away their pain. Hovering or taking control, however, can make your teen feel disempowered or misunderstood. Respect their space while letting them know your door is open for support.

3) Watch for warning signs such as extensive isolation or other depressive symptoms such as hopelessness, loss of enjoyment or withdrawal from activities or responsibilities,help. Therapy can be another tool to help your child move forward.

4) Listen more than you speak. This will help teens feel safe to process their feelings aloud without fear of judgment or comparison of your experiences. Let them know it is okay to feel what they feel and to talk about it with you. You don’t have to have all the answers and trust me, they don’t want you to. They just want to feel that you are with them, to understand and love them through this loss.

If interested in another layer of support, please reach out. I would be honored to walk alongside you on your healing journey.