Starting high school is a milestone that many teens look forward to. It means you are growing up and surrounded by the older kids that you have often looked up to. It means new experiences, new opportunities for friendships, new freedom and often most importantly, a fresh start. You are no longer defined by your elementary interests, peer group you have often been associated with since kindergarten or your past embarrassing moments or mistakes. It means not everyone in your classes or in the halls will know you.
Although the lack of familiarity can bring natural anxiety, it can also be reframed as an opportunity to find comfort and a new zest in the adventure of self-discovery and re-invention that is high school. Take the time to reflect on your hopes, successes, failures and most importantly, your goals. Yes, your goals.
It may seem like graduation four years from now is far away, but trust me, the days are long yet the years are short. Now is the time to simply explore yourself and who you want to be. Nothing has to be figured out by any means, but be brave, be bold and discover your likes and dislikes through elective courses, extracurriculars and new experiences. Break down your goals into short-term and long-term categories. Make sure those goals are S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely). It can be as simple as I want to meet 4 new people in the first month by simply saying hello and introducing myself. Or I want to try out a Business class in the second semester. OR it can be a little more habit focused like I am going to carve out 1 hour right after school each day to complete homework and study in my room.
Being a school-based clinician for 18+ years has shown me that when I talk to my seniors towards the end of their high school career, they often all have similar feelings about their freshman year. Year after year they tend to voice the same “would of, should of and could of”s associated with their entry into high school. This got me thinking about how helpful it could be for new freshmen to have a guide of sort from former freshmen. My hope is that you will read some of this advice, take it to heart, and have it lead you to a high school experience that is everything you hoped it could be and more.
The following is a compiled list of wisdom that my former seniors often voice wishing they would have soaked in at the start of their freshmen year to change the course of their high school experience. If you just entered high school, take a moment to take in advice from those who have lived it and who hope to have their mistakes serve a purpose to help others.
Time will fly. Get involved. Make the most of all the opportunities your school affords. Explore new interests. Solidify your passion areas. Be a fearless leader and start a new club if what you are hoping for is not available.
Time will fly. Keep on top of your homework. Ask for clarification when you need it so you can do your very best. Use resources like academic centers or homework clubs that are available. Study. Grades do matter all 4 years so take responsibilities seriously and praise and evaluate efforts along the way so you can make adjustments accordingly. You will be post-secondary planning sooner than you think and you want to have as many opportunities as possible available to you. This will happen if you put forth your best effort, which includes seeking out extra help when content gets challenging. Teachers really do want to help and see you succeed. Build relationships with them.
Time will fly. If you experience a rough patch, a tough circumstance or difficult choice, know that even though it feels like it will never get better, it does. Keep the hope alive that this too shall pass. However, in the meantime, if you are struggling with your mental health, seek out your Student and Family Services Team for support at school and/or set up an appointment with a therapist for out of school support. Don’t be afraid to reach out sooner than later so things do not start to crumble across other areas. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Read that sentence again. You are NOT alone. There are people who can help support your journey.
Time will fly. Make new friends. Don’t be afraid to push yourself out of your comfort zone, out of your clique you have surrounded yourself with for years, and explore new people. You may discover that there are people out there who are similar to you or better yet you appreciate and can add value to your life that are different from you. It is okay to branch out. You may just become a better version of yourself as a result. We are who we surround ourselves with. Attitudes and choices are heavily influenced by who we spend time with. If you are not liking how you are feeling or what you have been getting involved with, look elsewhere. There ARE people who value what you value. It just may take some time to find your people. Don’t sacrifice the person you want to be just to have a place. Be true to who you are and people will join your place.
Time will fly. Yes, friends are important. Spending time with them and having new freedoms feels good. However, also carve out time for family. Find a way to enjoy your parents/guardians, siblings, etc. Those relationships are everlasting. As lives get busy we can take for granted the people who have been a constant in our lives. Remember, they know you in ways many don’t and can help ground you amongst the chaos. If your familial relationships are not where you want them to be, be willing to voice a desire to work on it. Find adults in your life who can support you in ways that a peer cannot.
Time will fly. Don’t avoid. Avoidance just reinforces the unhelpful idea that you cannot handle something. Instead, do what you are afraid of, what makes you uncomfortable and do it again and again until you master it and no longer feel anxious, uncomfortable or afraid. If you are struggling, admit it and get the support you need. Avoidance of classes, of people, of tasks, of conversations, of experiences will leave you with feelings of incompetence and regret. It is important that you learn you CAN work through the difficulty. You ARE courageous and you tried…that is sometimes enough. We don’t control outcomes, but what we don’t attempt is guaranteed to never be.
You got this!
At Cutting Edge Counseling of the North Shore, we're proud to offer our services to clients in Northbrook and the surrounding communities, including Glenview, Deerfield, Highland Park, Wheeling, Northfield, Glencoe, Winnetka, Buffalo Grove, Riverwoods, Lincolnshire, Prospect Heights, Vernon Hills, Mount Prospect, Arlington Heights, and Des Plaines. Our commitment is to provide personalized and effective therapy to help you achieve your goals.
Written By,
Janet Radziszewski, LCSW
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