How Do I Stop Overthinking?

Ally Bremer
Aug 7
4 min read

One of the most common questions I hear in therapy is: “How do I stop overthinking?”

With countless decisions to make each day—what to wear, how to respond to a message, whether to switch careers—it’s easy to get caught in mental loops that feel impossible to escape. Overthinking can feel frustrating, time-consuming, and emotionally exhausting… yet it’s often a difficult pattern to stop.

If you’re someone who second-guesses decisions, replays conversations, or fears making the wrong move, you’re not alone. Let’s explore what overthinking really is, why it happens, and how to start reclaiming clarity, confidence, and peace.

Why We Overthink and What It Really Means

Overthinking isn’t simply “thinking a lot.” It’s a mental pattern often fueled by ambivalence, fear, and self-doubt. You may feel torn between options, unsure of what the “right” answer is, or afraid of disappointing others. Overthinking is often tied to:

● A desire to avoid mistakes

● A tendency to people-please

● A habit of outsourcing your intuition

● A discomfort with uncertainty or the unknown

● A lack of confidence or fear of regret

What starts as trying to make a thoughtful decision can quickly spiral into paralyzing anxiety, where no decision gets made at all. You stay stuck, time passes, and you remain unhappy—not because you’ve chosen the wrong path, but because you haven’t taken a step in any direction.

It can feel like a storm cloud hovering overhead: either preparing for a crisis that never comes, or never taking action to prepare for the ones that might.

The Emotional Impact of Overthinking

Overthinking doesn’t just stay in your head. It can impact your entire life. Common emotional and functional consequences include:

● Sleep disturbances

● Difficulty concentratingStrained relationships

● Mood swings

● Poor time management

● Chronic indecisiveness

Over time, it can start to feel like you’re not in control of your own life, that you’re a passenger, waiting for certainty to appear, instead of actively steering your course.

So, How Do You Stop Overthinking?

Here’s the honest answer: Stop waiting.

You may never have all the information you want to make the “perfect” choice. But you can learn to make good enough decisions and that’s more than enough to move forward.

Start Here:

● Trust yourself more than the opinions of others. Reconnect with your inner compass. When you constantly defer to others, you erode your own confidence.

● Use your values as a roadmap. When unsure, ask: Which option aligns best with my values, my goals, or my vision for my life?

● Shift your “what ifs.” Instead of “What if it all goes wrong?” ask “What if it works out?” What could change in your life for the better?

● Accept that risk is part of growth. Not every decision will be perfect or risk-free, but that’s how we learn, stretch, and thrive.

● Recognize that inaction is a decision. When you stay stuck, you’re not protecting yourself.

You’re simply handing over control to life or others.

Regulate Your Mind to Access Clarity

Overthinking often keeps your nervous system in a state of high alert. To reduce the mental noise, try:

● Grounding techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method to anchor yourself in the present

● Slow, deep breathing to calm your body and bring focusPracticing self-compassionate inner dialogue, especially when anxiety tells you you're "messing up"

● Making small decisions quickly: what to wear, what to eat, what show to watch. Mastering the small builds trust for the big ones.

Repetition Builds Confidence: Practice Every Day

Decision-making is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. Start with the small, low-stakes choices. With time, you’ll feel more capable of tackling the ones that matter most. Progress happens gradually.

How Therapy Can Help You Break Free

Therapy is a space where you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Together, we can:

● Explore the roots of your overthinking patterns

● Work through fear of failure, people-pleasing, or perfectionism

● Build emotional regulation tools that help calm your body and mind

● Reconnect you with your values and authenticity

● Practice decision-making and build confidence through action

Therapy isn’t about telling you what to do. It’s about helping you learn to trust yourself again.

It’s Time to Take the Wheel

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to know exactly how everything will turn out. What you do need is a willingness to take the next step even if it’s a small one.

You were never meant to live on autopilot. You have the power to drive your own bus. Life will always involve detours and uncertainty, but when you’re the one steering, the destination is far more meaningful.

Overthinking may feel like your default right now, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. You can quiet your mind, feel more present, and move through life with greater ease and confidence. I’m here for you when you are ready.