When Summer Isn’t “Sunny”Navigating Depression When Others Seem Happy

Ally Bremer
Jul 31
4 min read

Updated: Aug 1

For many, summer is typically seen as a season of joy, filled with sunny skies, long days, vacations, and sometimes what can seem like endless social plans. The world seems to almost expect you to be outside, smiling, and carefree. But for some, summer can feel heavy, isolating, or even painful. If you find yourself feeling down while everyone else around you seems to be thriving, remember that you are not alone and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Depression doesn’t just take a vacation because the sun is out or just because you may be on vacation. Whether you are dealing with seasonal depression that flares up in the heat, feeling the impact of personal struggles, or simply are feeling this way and can’t pinpoint why your mood doesn’t seem to “match” the season, your experience is real and valid.

While most people associate Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) with winter, there’s a lesser-known form of summer-pattern SAD. But even outside of that, there are plenty of reasons summer might be emotionally difficult.

Disrupted routines: Whether it be school breaks, travel, or changing schedules, those things can throw off the structure that may normally help you cope and stay regulated.
Body image pressure: Summer can amplify insecurities about appearance, especially with more skin exposure or social comparison.
Loneliness: If you’re not invited to certain events, live far from friends, or just don’t have a lot of energy to socialize, the season’s focus on fun can deepen that feeling of being left out.
Grief anniversaries or trauma reminders: Summer may bring back memories that can be painful and may not always be there during other times of the year for you personally.
Heat and sleep disruption: High temperatures and longer daylight hours can interfere with rest, which can further impact your mood.

Whatever the reason, depression in the summer can feel especially isolating when your emotional world does not match the brightness around you.

As mentioned above, this can be even more challenging to deal with when we feel like everyone else around us “seems” happy. I put “seems” in quotes because as we all know, not everything is as it appears and people typically like to show people their “highlight reel” rather than how they’re truly feeling. But, here are some tools and things to keep in mind to help cope.

1. Validate what you’re feeling → Give yourself permission to feel what’s true for you. It can be tempting to dismiss your feelings with thoughts like, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or

“Other people have it worse.” Invalidating yourself not only doesn’t make it go away but can sometimes make it worse by adding another level of pain. Instead, try saying, “This is how I’m feeling right now, and that is okay.”

2. Try to limit social comparison → Social media during summer can often feel like a highlight reel on steroids. If everyone seems to be living their best life, and you’re barely getting through the day, it can intensify those feelings of inadequacy. It’s okay to mute, unfollow, or even take breaks from platforms that make you feel worse. Remember that it actually takes a lot of strength to protect your peace.

3. Create small anchors of comfort → When your energy is low, large goals can feel impossible. Focus on small things that help you feel more grounded, like a consistent sleep/wake time, drinking water and eating regularly, taking short walks, or creating a calming playlist. Tiny acts of self-care matter, especially when they’re all you can manage.

4. Set boundaries around social plans → You do not have to say yes to everything. It’s okay to say, “Thanks for the invite. I’m not really up for it right now, but I appreciate you thinking of me.” You can still be part of a social circle without forcing yourself to show up inauthentically.

5. Connect genuinely (if you can) → If you have the capacity, consider reaching out to one or two people who feel safe. You don’t need to dive into heavy emotion unless you want to, but sometimes just saying, “I’ve been feeling a little off lately. Can we talk or hang out?” can relieve some of that isolation without feeling a whole lot of pressure.

6. Let go of the pressure to “make the most” of summer → Not every summer has to be the most memorable or productive summer you’ve ever had. Sometimes, just making it through is more than enough. Healing does not always look like movement but more like rest, quiet, and just surviving.

7. Seek help if you’re struggling to cope → If your symptoms are lasting, affecting your functioning or making life feel hopeless, reach out for support. A therapist can help you unpack what’s going on beneath the surface and offer tools to help navigate through it. You don’t need to go through this alone.

Remind yourself that you don’t have to match the season to belong. If you’re feeling down this summer, know that you are not a failure for struggling. You’re not ruining any “vibe” or falling behind in any way. You’re simply human, and humans are allowed to feel whatever they are feeling, no matter the time of year. Some seasons of life feel heavier, even if the world around you appears bright and loud. Your job isn’t to force yourself into joy, and truthfully, that never really works. Be gentle with yourself, move slowly if you need to, and trust that your feelings are temporary, even if they don’t feel that way right now. The sun doesn’t need you to be okay to keep rising, and you don’t need to be 100% okay to be worthy of love, support, and rest this summer and for all seasons.